I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
