the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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