we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
