i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
