is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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