I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
time to smoke my breakfast
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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