don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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