Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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