Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize