Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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