My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
