He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
