I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
