...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
