paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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