I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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