Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
