Apparently you make a good broom.
i barfeds in our rink
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
