i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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