Buhtt sex?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
