Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
