sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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