The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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