After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
