About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize