I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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