The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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