I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
