there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
