I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
