what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
