Swine flu. Run for my life!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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