You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I wish i was in the wii world.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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