??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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