You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
