she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
