Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
