It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
