these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
