I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
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It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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