New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
