I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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