why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
