according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
