Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
