I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
