so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
