So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
