I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
