So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
