Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
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He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
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My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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