respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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