Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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