So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
