I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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