You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize