I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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