I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
