really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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