i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize