It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
